The Hedonistic Pleasureseeker

That Was Zen, This Is Tao

August 20, 2008 · No Comments

So I write this guy. He seemed nice. Nonsmoker, healthy, into yoga. He was a writer like me, handsome and funny! I liked that so I thought okay, I’ll write. This is what I got back:

So what do defense contractors and high price hookers have in common?

They both charge $500.00 for a screw!

I’ve actually got a couple hundred of these bawdy jokes from my Adult Trivia game.

So I can’t resist one more.

“Daddy, what’s wife swapping?”

Go next door and ask your mother!

Anyway, nameless beauty. Unless I get that private jet when my book in progress tops the best seller list, save me a dance in the next life!

WTF? Jet? He was local! What was he implying? And what’s with the PLANE MEME anyway? Half the guys who write me either have planes, fly planes or spend their lives IN planes. Am I flypaper for pilots and traveling businessmen? I checked out my profile again thinking am I putting off the wrong vibe? Reluctantly I took down all the modeling shots except for my headshot, which I’ve no replacement for yet. Those pictures were two and three years old and ten pounds ago anyway. That was then, this is now.

I’m grumpy and I miss my Scorpio.

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Kittyprint Tuesday: Menagerie

August 19, 2008 · No Comments

Here are a few little collectibles I’ve picked up along the way. I never go out of my way to look for them, but if I encounter kittyprint somethings and they’re cute and affordable I snap them right up! They make me smile: My latest acquisitions are those two pair of kittyprint scissors. They’re dressmaker quality, so they’ll come in handy in the event I decide to return to my hobby from long ago.

→ No CommentsCategories: Animal House · Cute Alert! · Feline Nature · It's All About Me · Kittyprint Tuesdays

Welcome to My Rodeo

August 19, 2008 · No Comments

One thing about online dating sites: So long as you don’t take them too seriously they can be a lot of fun, even downright entertaining at times. My heart goes out to the earnest ones who actually read my profile but who do nothing for me physically. How to respond? “Thanks but no thanks,” or no response? Guys, I need an opinion.

As for the condescending and presumptuous ones, and the ones who never take the time to read my profile . . . well . . . they deserve to be mocked. Here are last week’s winners!

“. . . must be able to deal with my kids and shift work. . . i am a x-bullrider so i like to go to the rodeo when i can, i ride quads with my brothers . . i love going to the beach when i can and going fishing with my cusin on his boat and im into nascar and drag racing . . . must love kids! i do injoy a good cigar Sorry no CATS cant breath around them . . . “

“. . . oh ya about the married part a friend said i should have put that im divorced . . .”

” . . .Trenton police officer for 27 years . . . homicide commander . . . grandfather, father, 2 brothers, my son, and several nephews were/are in law enforcement. I now work for the state in Homeland Security. I tell you this up front so you know you’re not dealing with a nut case. I know very well how this process can be frightening, especially for women.”

“I’m not much of a reader . . . Turnoffs: Brainiacs”

“. . . I’ll be in town on business, how does 8:00 at the Ritz sound to you?”

→ No CommentsCategories: It's All About Me · Men Come and Go

Pigs at the Trough

August 19, 2008 · No Comments

(Look! Politicians! And their political appointee buddies!)

“You can’t use tact with a Congressman! A Congressman is a hog! You must take a stick and hit him on the snout!”

Henry B. Adams

Are feds stockpiling survival food?

These circumstances certainly raise red flags


Posted: July 25, 2008
12:30 am Eastern
© 2008 WorldNetDailyA Wall Street Journal columnist has advised people to “start stockpiling food” and an ABC News Report says “there are worrying signs appearing in the United States where some … locals are beginning to hoard supplies.” Now there’s concern that the U.S. government may be competing with consumers for stocks of storable food.

“We’re told that the feds bought the entire container of canned butter when it hit the California docks. (Something’s up!),” said officials at Best Prices Storable Foods in an advisory to customers . . .”The government just came in and said they’re buying it. They did pay for it,” he told WND about the summertime shipment of long-term storage butter. “They took it and no one else could have it. We don’t know why.”

So let me tell you why I’m 99% certain this story is for real: I know this company. I do business with this company. I’m on an email basis with the family who runs it. I also have a whole case of the aforementioned butter taking up shelf space in my kitchen.

I also know that a can of creamery butter from New Zealand only qualifies as “survival food” when one is planning ahead. Once in survival mode the last thing you’re gonna care about is whether or not your toast is buttered! You’ll just be happy you have bread.

So apparently the Feds are planning ahead. But which Feds? I’ll tell you now that it’s NOT the military, and it’s NOT FEMA. Soldiers and disaster victims don’t rate cans of creamery butter from New Zealand: The cans are too heavy, and they’re much too expensive to be passing out to the plebes. No, this butter is for the elites: Elected officials and political appointees who will be eating escargots on toast points while you scrounge for whatever . . . unless you take the hint and start making some plans, pronto. You think our politicians and political appointees might know something you don’t? DUH! They’re absconding with whole boatloads of canned butter! What do you think?

And here’s the hardest kick in the shorts: They are using YOUR TAX MONEY to pay for it. “How does THAT make you feel?” Too late now, suckas! They’re taking your money and running with it, the way politicians and political appointees have been doing since the beginning of politics itself. That’s what you get for voting in “Big Government,” folks: Big, fat greedy pigs at the trough eating your food. Enjoy the visual, and welcome to disaster apartheid.

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Whereupon the Hedonistic Pleasureseeker Accidentally Discovered the Meaning of Life

August 18, 2008 · No Comments

My tomato garden at night

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Panic in the American Controlled Media: “Pull the plug! Pull the $#%@ Plug!”

August 17, 2008 · No Comments

Fox News is Run By Douchebags 101

Watch this Fox News reporter trying to run his mouth over this girl from San Diego who was trying to tell her story about her ordeal in South Ossetia. She was telling the TRUTH and this douchebag cut her off!

Fox News cut them off right in the middle of the account of Georgian aggression, even though Fox had just come from a commercial break! Here is the Russian version of the story:

Isn’t it ironic that RUSSIAN media, long controlled by the Communist Party, is pointing fingers at the US Media? One is as bad as the other!!!

Condi the Yapping Poodle in Georgia

THIS is what Americans were allowed to see of the straightforward question to Condoleeza Rice during her trip to Georgia. Condi had been sent overseas to yap at Russia about its so called “aggression” against South Ossetia. What a hypocritical joke! Mind you: Every professional media outlet has backup connections so that if one fails there is another to back it up. Because of this you can feel free to conclude that the cutting of the connection to the U.S. viewership was deliberate.

This is what the rest of the world got to see:

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The Politics of the Undead

August 17, 2008 · No Comments

It is likely that a Democrat will be president come January 2009, and one of our options is definitely better than the other: Obama’s Corporatist Descent to Communism would be about 5 degrees warmer and fuzzier than either McCain’s or Clinton’s. Barack is slightly less of a warmonger, and nowhere near as mean and vindictive as Hillary. So yes, if someone held a gun to my head and told me I couldn’t write in Ron Paul’s name on the Presidential ballot I’d probably vote for Barack Obama.

Still, I feel bad for those people who are convinced that Obama is the answer to prosperity and peace in the new millenium. Folks, that is just plain too much to ask for. Our corporatist overlords have other plans, and these plans involve war and poverty and debt slavery for us, and unlimited war profiteering for themselves.

WHY in GODS NAME are the Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) and the Bilderberg Group pushing this ECONOMY-KILLING agenda when the American people want none of it? Easy, my dears: Our corporatist overlords are Fabian Socialists who view the United States as a “problem child.” So long as America is prosperous and independent Americans can tell the socialists to fuck off. The middle class has to hit rock bottom before our the Bilderbergers and the CFR can impose a control freak socialist “solution” to our national woes. We’re not in bad enough shape, nyet, for them to be able to pull it off. That uppity American middle class needs to be put in its place first.

“You Americans are so gullible. No, you won’t accept communism outright, but we’ll keep feeding you small doses of socialism until you’ll finally wake up and find you already have communism. We won’t have to fight you. We’ll so weaken your economy until you’ll fall like overripe fruit into our hands.”

- Nikita Kruschev, to Dwight Eisenhower’s Secretary of Agriculture

Hyperinflation and a collapsed currency, ~25% unemployment, a military draft and a few crop failures might just do the trick in America. I hope I am wrong. Unfortunately my instincts are usually dead-on.

So! You think Barack Obama will at least bring the troops home so that we can enjoy a little peace for once? Dream ON. Remember, Zbigniew Brzezinski, cofounder with Rockefeller of the Trilateral Commission, is a member of Obama’s cabinet. Think of him like another Henry Kissinger, as if we needed another hyper-rich war criminal, but trust me: Brzezinski has been around forever; it’s just that most of you have never heard of him. Ziggy’s had designs on the Caspian Sea Basin energy resources for DECADES. The Brzezinski cabal has already taken over from the NeoCons, who can do nothing but flail and whine and make pointless demands (”Bomb Iran! Bomb Iran!”). Forget it NeoCons: The Obama faction has already redirected its war efforts to the Caspian Sea Basin where it was during the first Clinton administration.

Unless a dedicated peace movement can stop the saber-rattling America is in for WAR IN THE CAUCASUS for the next four years, nevermind the fact that Putin’s already handed Brzezinski’s ass back to him on a platter for his first gambit into Georgia. The bottom line is that behind the hopey exterior Barack Obama’s foreign policy will be as hawkish as McCain’s. Unfortunately Hillary Clinton would be worse. The last thing we need is for warmongering NeoCon Hillary to be talking about “annihilating” other countries.

(If only America would wake up and understand tat there is one PEACE candidate still in the race: Ron Paul.)

This latest development, Hillary’s being put on the role call at the Democratic National Convention, is extremely disturbing to me because the monsters behind the Clinton Machine will grab a mile for every inch that Obama gives in. There is NO WAY that woman will ever give up, because the stakes are too high: Either she ends up in the White House, or she runs the risk of ending up in JAIL.

Seriously. This is not hyperbole. JAIL. Without a Clinton in the White House to stall or squash Justice Department investigations she and her cronies run the risk of being indicted for jail able offenses. The Clinton Machine is an organized crime syndicate, plain and simple. Only money, power and the fate of their clan-based syndicate matter to them. They fully intend to control the world and everyone in it, and they don’t care who has to die in order for them to achieve their ends.

I really worry about what Clinton might do to screw Obama’s chances at winning the nomination. If Obama is not careful might even end up dead. The Obama campaign can’t afford to pussyfoot around, and the sooner the Trilateralists can shut down the Bush/McCain/Clinton Crime Machine the better.

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HPS Test Kitchen: A Berry Good Sammich

August 17, 2008 · No Comments

This sandwich was made two toaster waffles, spread with store bought cheesecake filling and piled high with strawberries. What a glorious mess it was to eat!

→ No CommentsCategories: Food as Seduction · HPS Test Kitchen

The Lost Day

August 15, 2008 · No Comments

(”Redhead” by Tom White)

MAN what a zombie week. I went to work today thinking it was Thursday, but it was Friday. Good thing It wasn’t Saturday, eh? That would have been embarrassing, commuting an hour and finding myself in an empty parking lot.

Methinks it’s time for a little TLC.

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PMDD Threat Advisory Code Red: Misery

August 14, 2008 · No Comments

(Artist unknown to me, let me know if you recognize this!)

Man, this one was ROUGH. Fortunately, it was short: My premenstrual misery was heavily compressed into two days instead of the two weeks that I’m accustomed to.

So there I was at work today, my fingernails digging into my chair, trying to keep my self propped up while waiting for the Motrin to kick in, thinking . . . “Gee, I wonder when I’ll get my period?” My GOD I am a dork.

But I found Miss Fussypants Guide to Life!

Fussy’s Secret for a Miserable Existence

“How can you maximize your misery?

It’s easy, it’s available in all areas of life

and everyday you will have new ways to take part.

Are you excited to find out what it is?”

(”A Heart Entrapped.” Check out, Wish You Were Here, the 2007 Photoblog of the year!)

→ No CommentsCategories: Buy a Clue 101 · I Am Such a Dork · It's All About Me · My Hormones Are Kicking My Ass · Thanks, but no thanks · The Daily Whinge · Yeah, What They Said

“But Darling, it will never work.”

August 13, 2008 · No Comments

I forgot all about what being executive chef is all about: Working weekends. “I’m available on Mondays and Tuesdays,” he said. And he lives an hour away.

Oh Frenchy, I am sorry.

He was kidding, right? Like I’m going to shave my legs on a Monday? I am very clear in my dating profile that I am unavailable during the week.  Guess he didn’t read it?  I endure 10 hour work days and a long commute. You can’t pay me to be presentable, let alone sociable, on Monday nights. Tuesdays I have Bunny.

My whole point of wanting to date, besides the obvious, is to have someone to be crazy sexy with on weekends. Dating Frenchy would defeat the purpose.

Would you believe he didn’t quite get it? “Well we could get together, anyways, yes?  Sometime. I take you someplace nice for spicy dinner. You will like.”

Sure. Next time I’m free. Whatever, fly your plane up here, there’s an airport five miles away.

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Conspiracy Schoolhouse Rock: Mediaopoly

August 12, 2008 · No Comments

Where have these things been all my life? LOL this one’s for you, Jen!

(a tip of the hat to my new pen pal!)

→ No CommentsCategories: Buy a Clue 101 · Giggles · Lame Marketing Campaigns · Operation Disclosure · The Fix is In · The Personal is the Political · Videos They Don't Want You to See · Yeah, What They Said

Kittyprint Tuesday: Phone Fear Redux

August 12, 2008 · No Comments

(Man Repellent: The girly phone)

I’d forgotten about the “down side” of dating strangers: The awkward phone calls. The last time I put my dating profile online the barrage panicked me into hibernation. I was going through a lot of shit back then, so I probably wasn’t in the best shape to date in any case. But here I go again: Giving out my goddamn cell phone number to a bunch of goddamn strangers. I just changed my phone number to get rid of the last batch! Gah!

Sigh. All this awkwardness, just to have a place to wear my sexy shoes on Saturday nights and maybe fall in love. Or lust. My girlfriends don’t wear heels, and the other women I know who do wear heels don’t want me standing next to them in a bar.

I’ve mentioned it before: I hate my phone. I don’t even know my home phone number; it came with my Comcast package and I think I’ve given the number out to two people: My sister, and my dad because he swore to her that I’d moved away without leaving a forwarding address. Scorpio doesn’t have my home number. My mom doesn’t even have my home number; she calls my cell or sends me emails. Perhaps I ought to give her a call.

Cell phones are so much better for dating, as I can see at a glance if I want to answer. Usually I don’t. Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE dating! I adore going out and dancing and eating and being frisky and exhibitionistic with a guy who makes me happy! I just don’t like dating strangers. I like people who I feel as though I’ve known forever, even if we just met (it happens).

I can tell when I’m really into a man by the way I react when I see his name pop up on my cell: If I grab it excitedly and answer right away it’s a good sign. But If I wince and groan? If the thought of talking to him makes me feel tired? Well, maybe it’s PMS, but if it’s not, then, phhbltt. I’m drained enough as it is, I don’t need a feeder entity. I’ve already got a job and a long commute a kid and three cats and a house and night school and a garden and . . . bah. Why did I buy six months on Match, again?

Anyway, I noticed a difference in the interest level of “men who text” vs. “men who call.” Men who call get first dibs, because they’re more interested, more motivated, more interested in what I actually have to say. So! The executive chef moves ahead of the line in front of whotshisname. To bad Frenchy is a Libra, and flies a plane, because it means he has a woman in every port. Maybe his luscious accent will make up for it?

→ No CommentsCategories: Feline Nature · It's All About Me · Jet Set Life · Kittyprint Tuesdays · Men Come and Go · My Hormones Are Kicking My Ass · Soap Operas · Solitude: I Vant to Be Alone · Thanks, but no thanks · The Daily Whinge

Loaded For Bear

August 12, 2008 · No Comments

(Yeah, it was kind of like that)

WASHINGTON (AFP) - US Military surprised by speed, timing, of Russia military action - The US military was surprised by the timing and swiftness of the Russian military’s move into South Ossetia and is still trying to sort out what happened, a US defense official said Monday.

The term “loaded for bear” had a hunting significance dating back to a time when the west was wild and woolly. Modern slang has introduced a new meaning into the phrase: To be well loaded; maxed out, or equipping (or over-equipping) oneself for an extraordinary hunt. So yeah, this Misadventure in the Caucasus is kind of like that: Russia the Bear is loaded for bear, and is bearing down (ha ha, cringe) on the West. I hope the clowns directing the Western Axis of the Greater Evilism decide to quit while they’re ahead. Unfortunately they are evil clowns, and while Pootypoot plays chess they’re playing dodge ball. Drunk. With scizzors. Because they’re NeoClowns, and they want to get a foothold in the region before they can effectively attack Iran, and they are so drunk on their own delusions that they actually think they can pull it off.
Global Research - The Caucasus —Washington Risks nuclear war by miscalculation - Most in the West are unaware how dangerous the conflict over two tiny provinces in a remote part of Eurasia has become. What is left out of most all media coverage is the strategic military security context of the Caucasus dispute . . .

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Men Are Dogs, UPDATE!

August 11, 2008 · 2 Comments

(Image found at Retarded Land Seal)

Oh I can’t resist updating my Men Are Dogs essay, especially after my wild night with Scorpio:

He can’t resist a cheap redhead !

→ 2 CommentsCategories: Animal House · Cute Alert! · It's All About Me · La Dolce Vita · Life Imitates Art · Men Come and Go · Pleasures of the Flesh · Vibrantly Alive in Repose